Scaling Back after a Divorce

When Ileana Garcia's marriage ended, she didn't just lose a partner. She lost a dining room table that seated twelve people, a home office, a room for her Peloton — and half her financial life. What nobody tells you about divorce is that the math hits just as hard as the heartbreak.

"Here's something economists will tell you that nobody puts on a wedding invitation: marriage is an economy of scale. And divorce? Divorce is the bill coming due."

Welcome to That's Life, I Swear. This podcast is about life's happenings in this world that conjure up such words as intriguing, frightening, life-changing, inspiring, and more. I'm Rick Barron your host. 

That said, here's the rest of this story : 

While writing my podcast scripts, I use many resources, such as books, newspapers, and blogs, always on the lookout for intriguing articles to write about. Recently, one caught my eye in the Wall Street Journal. As I read it over my morning coffee, I noticed this article was regarding Ileana Garcia and Karen Slack and how they learned how to scale back after a divorce.

As I began writing the script for this podcast episode, I realized that to truly capture the essence of the story, it was best to let the article's author tell it in his own words. That said, you’ll hear this entire episode in the words of Dalvin Brown, a writer for the Wall Street Journal. 

The story reveals how Ileana and Karen had to recalibrate their lifestyles after a marriage ended. The two of them started learning that living alone means dealing with some harsh realities about the cost of going solo. 

So, let’s get started with Dalvin Brown’s article, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal, again in his own words…as it should be. Let’s begin, shall we?

What It’s Actually Like to Downshift Your Life After Divorce

Marriage is an economy of scale. And divorce means confronting harsh realities about the cost of being solo.

Ileana Garcia and her husband lived in a five-bedroom brick colonial home with a dining-room table that could seat a dozen people.

Just before her divorce was finalized in 2023, she downsized from her home of more than two decades in suburban New York to a nearby apartment. She still likes having people over, but at her 55th birthday party recently, everyone had to crowd around her kitchen island.

“There wasn’t enough room for everyone to sit,” said Garcia, who works in software sales. “That part sucked.”

The toughest part: Her rent is $5,000 a month. That is even more than the mortgage payments she and her husband paid with a combined income that was twice what she earns now.

One of the biggest advantages of marriage is the lifestyle upgrade that combining two incomes can bring, whether it is a bigger home or more money for vacations or eating out. The benefits, which include tax breaks, can compound powerfully over a lifetime, leaving couples on far stronger financial footing than those who don’t marry.

Yet a significant share of marriages end in divorce, and when they do, those economies of scale quietly go away. People have to recalibrate their lifestyles, regardless of income level.

The downsizing comes despite research showing people often work more hours after a divorce. “Individually, they’re probably each earning more, and yet each is also poorer as a result of the divorce,” said Andrew Johnston, an economist at the University of Texas at Austin.

Household income typically drops by about half at divorce and recovers only partially over the following decade, according to research from the National Bureau of Economic Research. 

Garcia knows she is fortunate financially. She earns about $250,000 a year—around what she was making when she was married. But without her ex-husband’s salary, it feels like she took a huge pay cut.

When she was married, her house had enough space for a home office and a room where she kept her Peloton. Now she works at a desk by her kitchen island and keeps the Peloton in her bedroom.

On top of getting used to a smaller space, Garcia was surprised by how everyday expenses like streaming services, groceries and car insurance could add up. Parking in her apartment building, for instance, costs $150 a month. It has forced her to pay closer attention to her spending.

“Before, the check would come, one of us would pay on our joint card, and I didn’t really think about it,” said Garcia, who posts about her divorce on social media. “Now I have a heightened awareness.”

For others, the lifestyle adjustment after divorce is more extreme. Karen Slack had been a stay-at-home mom during her 22-year marriage, then suddenly had to go out and find a traditional job.

She took every job opportunity that came her way, including as a food runner at a restaurant and doing marketing for a local Realtor. For one job not long after her divorce in 2022, she found herself standing in front of a driving-school classroom of more than 40 teenagers. She wasn’t used to addressing a group like that, and nerves struck.

“I was shaking so badly I could barely get words out,” said Slack, a 46-year-old resident of Westfield, Mass.

The first year after her divorce, she made about $30,000 and tracked every dollar she spent in a notebook. Meals skewed toward rice and pasta.

Slack now lives on about $50,000 a year from various jobs, which feels comfortable since she has no debt and her expenses are low. After her divorce, she and her ex sold their house, and she used the proceeds to buy an apartment and car outright. Her teenage children were old enough to work and take care of their personal expenses.

She has loosened up enough recently to occasionally order takeout.

“My kids were like, ‘what?’” she said. “I was like, this is my money. I’m going to spend it however I want.”

In suburban New York, Garcia is still getting used to other adjustments beyond her new financial realities. She recalled having to relearn many little tasks of daily life that her ex once handled, like fixing the internet when it went out.

“It’s terrifying,” she said. “All of a sudden it’s just you.”

She now sets calendar reminders for car inspections and files her own taxes.

Next up, Garcia wants to move into a bigger apartment. When she first moved out of the home she shared with her ex, she had thought she would only rent for about two years. She assumed she would either meet someone new or buy a home on her own. It has now been four years.

Still, she said her apartment has given her room to build a new life. She decorated the space with blown-up photographs from New York Fashion Week, old family photos from Puerto Rico and a Barbie print. She chose a leopard-print rug and filled the rooms with plants.

“This place is so me,” she said. “I don’t think my house was.” [

What can we learn from this story? What's the takeaway?

The lifestyle adjustment after a divorce isn't just financial, it's psychological. Relearning tasks your partner handled, navigating a smaller space, rebuilding routines from scratch — these are real costs that don't show up in a spreadsheet.

After years of shared compromise, some people discover themselves more clearly on the other side of loss. The story doesn't romanticize divorce, but it doesn't flatten it into pure hardship either. There's grief, adjustment, and — eventually — something that's genuinely your own.

Well, there you go, my friends; that's life, I swear

For further information regarding the material covered in this episode, I invite you to visit my website, which can be found on Apple Podcasts, for show notes and the episode transcript.

As always, I thank you for the privilege of you listening and your interest. 

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See you soon.