Interview #28 Nikki Corbett: Courage and Community - Speaking the Unspoken

Rick Barron (00:00)

Hi everyone, I'm Rick Barron and welcome to my podcast, That's Life, I Swear. 

My guest today is Nikki Corbett. 

Now, here's a question. What happens when the parts of our lives we're supposed to keep quiet become the very stories that set us free? 

Nikki Corbett is the host of The Scarlet Edit, a podcast that pulls back on the curtain on infidelity, divorce, desire, and the gray areas of modern relationships that most of us only whisper about. 

That's even if we want to talk about it. Now, during her journey into podcasting, Nikki discovered something rather remarkable. When you speak the unspeakable, people don't turn away. I mean, they lean in. 

They've been writing messages to her saying, you know, you made me feel sane. I thought I was the only one. 

I think that's what makes the Scarlet Edit a podcast you really need to dive into. And I'm going to provide you the website because you have to listen to these episodes because they are great. Now our conversation today is about courage, community, and the power of saying out loud what everyone else is thinking in silence. So that said, please join me as I have my conversation with Nikki Corbett. 

Nikki, welcome to the show.

Nikki Corbett (01:28)

My gosh, Rick, thank you. That was such a lovely intro.

Rick Barron (01:32)

I think it's well deserved. And I'll say it again. Those who are listening, I started listening to Nikki's podcast and I've been, I was just skipping around to the various episodes, but I got to tell you every one episode that I heard just, draws you in. And I think I was so captivated by the fact how the people who were talking to you were, you know, at first some were, rather hesitant, but as the conversation started to unfold, I almost felt there was a sigh of relief with the people that you were talking to. And I think having someone like you to speak with, I think made it a whole lot easier. 

So for the benefit of the audience though, Nikki, if you can give us a kind of a brief background introduction of yourself and how we got started into your podcast.

Nikki Corbett  (02:27)

Yeah, of course. Thank you. So, I started podcasting about three and a half years ago. And my original show talked about major life change, like stories of major life change, whether it was losing your home in a fire or surviving a heart attack or waking up one morning and looking in the mirror and realizing that you're 75 pounds overweight and you have two little boys that you want to be a good example for. So, I had lots of those types of stories on my show. 

And I really, really loved them. And I loved having conversations, I loved the art of podcasting. As time went on with that show, it evolved into a lot of conversations with entrepreneurs. And so that was really fun because I got to talk to people that had really cool businesses from all over the world. But ultimately, there was something inside of me that it just was like, I know that I'm meant to do something a little bit different. 

So, I got to a point in my own life and my own career where I, while I knew ultimately there was something inside of me that just was like, I know that I'm meant to do something a little bit different. So, I got to a point in my own life and my own career where...I know who I am. My friends and family know who I am. But I felt like there was this big side of me that I hadn't shared with everybody. And of course, I don't owe it to anybody to share every aspect of my life. 

But as I got to working on my own personal brand and refining what I do from a business perspective and trying to figure out how does this podcast fit into all of this, I realized this but I felt like there was this big side of me that hadn't shared it to anybody to share every...to working on my own personal brand and refining what I do from a business perspective and trying to figure out how does this podcast fit into all of this. I realized that the relationship journey that I've been on throughout my life is worth talking about, and it's worth having discussions with other people about. And it's a huge part of what's made me me today. So, it kind of just all happened in one moment where it was just like, phew, like I have this epiphany. And so, I decided to sunset my old podcast and restart about and it's worth having discussions with other people.

Nikki Corbett  (04:23)

It was probably about six weeks after I had that moment. I had enough content for the old show to keep putting it out until I said, OK, this is the final episode. And through that time, I named the show. So, the Scarlet Edit was born. It's a little bit of a play on The Scarlet Letter. And really honed in on, OK, what types of things are we going to be talking about on the show? So, we talk about infidelity. We talk about divorce.

And through that time, I named the show. So, the Scarlet Edit was born. It's a little bit of a play on Scarlet Letter.

Nikki Corbett  (04:48)

We talk about abuse. We talk about starting over. That's pretty much a major theme within the show is that my whole mantra, the way I live my life, is that regardless of any decision I've made in the past, I am not owned by that one decision. And regardless of if it's something I would never do again, if it's something that maybe for anybody, maybe it's something that they're not proud of, maybe it's something that they feel badly about, decision I've made in the past you still deserve to go after the life and the love that you want. And so that's kind of my whole mantra with the Scarlet Edit is that, you you're not defined by one choice in your life and you're not the only one that's been through some of the things that you've gone through. And that's truly my favorite part about the show is that these episodes are reaching people who actually need them and reaching them at the time that they need them. 

Rick Barron (05:46)

And so that's what makes it all worth it. Wow. When you were thinking of the various themes, know, infidelity, divorce, did you think that maybe, okay, I'm going to go with these, but were you concerned that maybe you might not get someone who wants to come onto your podcast and be very open about those discussions? Or did you feel like I'm just going to roll the dice and see what happens?

Nikki Corbett  (06:10)

It was all of the above. So yes. So I kicked the show off with my own story of being involved in a relationship with a man who was married. And I intentionally split that first episode. I mean, I recorded the first three episodes all in one take, and then we split them up into more bite-sized chunks. And then I did the fourth episode on my own after that.

Rick Barron (06:12)

Hahaha

Nikki Corbett  (06:33.751)

But I did that intentionally for two reasons. One, because I wanted people to hear the first episode and be interested and think, OK, well, wait, what happened next? But two, I needed to buy myself some time because, yes, to answer your question, I was nervous. I was like, am I going to get guests that want to come on this show and talk to me? Are there going to be other women that want to share their expertise or their experience or both?

And thankfully, there have been many, and they've all been wonderful conversations. And I should add, too, that I've had some awesome conversations with men.

Rick Barron (07:10)

So, when you started looking into this podcast of yours, I recall looking at your podcast and your website. The one thing that stuck out to me was where some people were saying words to the effect. Geez, I thought I was the only one. Why do you think that seemed to be the most? Top of the list item that people would think. You know.

Nikki Corbett  (07:35)

You know, in some ways, it's actually crazy to me to get those messages. Because these topics that I discuss on my show, they're not, it's not like, my god, I've never heard of somebody having an affair before. Or, my god, I've never heard of somebody getting a divorce before. I mean, we've all heard of those things many, many times. 

So, what I think it is is, kind of like I already said, people finding the show and the episodes at the right time and maybe hearing something in a way that really resonates with them in that moment. I mean, think about just in any type of conversation you've had, you could have a conversation with one person and they say something and you're just like, OK, and you move about your day and you could have the same conversation, but its delivery comes from somebody else. And you're like, wow, that really resonates. So, I think it's a handful of things.

Rick Barron (08:17)

What are some of the most interesting conversations you've had, man or woman, that left you kind of speechless in the sense of there was a conversation I just was not anticipating?

Nikki Corbett  (08:41)

Yeah, you know, I am so lucky to have had some amazingly sharp people and people who have been through really tough experiences on my show. I'll give you two that really stuck out to me. So from a data perspective, I really love data because I think it's just so intriguing and the story that it tells can kind of blow your mind sometimes, especially if it's a topic that perhaps isn't that beautiful. It's not like, this is so great. 

We love that there's like, for example, I had the chief strategy officer of ashleymadison.com on my show. So, ashleymadison.com, if any of your listeners don't know what that website is, it's a website that essentially facilitates affairs. They have 90 million users worldwide. Right?

90 million. So that number just blew my mind. And then all the other data points that he shared also were just fascinating. And I think the topic of infidelity is such a curious one to the average everyday person. Because if you think about it, normally when you find out about an affair, it's because the people got caught. 

Everybody is just wrapped up in the scandal of all of it. But they're not really understanding why did this even start to begin with. What were each of the people feeling? What was the relationship really like? A lot of people just assume that infidelity is purely sex-based and that it's just two people who can't stay loyal and committed to one person. But that's not the case.

Nikki Corbett  (10:35)

So, there's so many other factors. So having him on and all of that data that he shared was just fascinating to me. Another episode on, I had this woman named Lisa. And we had a pre-call where we had decided that we were going to talk about the differences, like comparing and contrasting somebody who gets in a relationship while they're married and has a long-term affair to someone who is like a serial cheater.

She had been married for 20 years, and her husband was a serial cheater. So we thought, ooh, this will be a really cool comparing and contrasting data points, talking about experiences that were different as we've both been in different situations. Well, what ended up happening was she ended up just telling me her whole story. And we laughed. 

And when we hung up, she was like, I haven't told that story in its entirety in so long. She has a podcast of her own. She's like, I so rarely talk about my experience on my show because I'm sharing other people's experiences that it just was such a fun episode to.

Rick Barron (12:10)

You find that where people are on your show, they're talking and really opening up the closet, so to speak. Do some say, for the benefit of this discussion, I'm to change my name to John Doe. Does that happen a lot? Because you have to wonder where people have this sense of, know, I'm just going to let it out, but I don't want to reveal who I really am by name. Do you have those types of discussions?

Nikki Corbett  (12:38)

So, it's funny you asked that, because so far I have not. However, about a month and a half ago, did put out a just, know, lobbed it out into the universe and the threads world and said, hey, if you're interested in sharing your show, your story anonymously, let me know. So I had a few people reach out. I've had initial calls with them, and I am planning on doing some anonymous episodes. 

So, from a video perspective, it won't be that exciting on YouTube because you'll only be seeing me. But from an audio perspective, think that it'll be interesting and it'll give these people an opportunity to share their life without blowing up their life.

Rick Barron (13:20)

That's amazing. I was sharing with you before we got started that I listened to a recent podcast regarding a lady who canceled her wedding on her wedding day. That had to have been very, very difficult to have made that decision because of all of the repercussions that were going to come from that. 

And, I knew of a couple that went through the same thing, although they didn't cancel the wedding. And they shared, the groom shared that with me in confidence years later that they were thinking of wanting to cancel. And I just looked for what it's worth. If both of you are having this thoughts tough as it may be and everyone's here, everything's set to go, you might want to reconsider.

That's, I'm just throwing it out there. It's up to you. They went through it. They got married. I think the marriage lasted maybe two years if that. But I think in retrospect, you know, this lady who canceled on her wedding day, embarrassing as it might've been for many people, it's probably the best decision they could have ever made.

Nikki Corbett  (14:43)

I think so. And that was one of the reasons why I, when I learned about her story, that one of the reasons that I reached out to her, because I can probably list off more people than just on one hand that I personally know in my life who got married and have said after the fact, I knew I shouldn't have gotten married on my wedding day. And I, know, as someone who has been married and divorced, like I get it when you're in that wedding planning mode, you get engaged and there's all these things to plan and all these things to figure out and everybody's excited for you and you send out your save the dates and people are talking to you about it and you know, show me your ring. Where are you getting married? Who's your band? Who's this? And it can be like, my God, if I don't go through with this, like I have to tell everybody. And then it's like, everybody's going to want to know why and what happened.

So, I completely understand getting so caught up in it and then feeling like, OK, well, I've got to do this now. And I think that ends up kind of sad in most instances, because people end up having kids and staying together a lot longer than they should have, and they're unhappy. So, I thought it was an important topic to highlight, especially from somebody who is now so far on the other side of it, that she can look back and be like, yeah, this was absolutely the best decision.

It was crazy and scary when I got back home and then realized, OK, what am I going to do with my life now? Now she's got it. She's doing great. So, I think it's just very inspirational.

Rick Barron (16:20)

And you have to wonder to the people who were, you know, getting the groom very excited or the bride very excited about, Hey, all this is going to be so cool. And then to hear all of sudden, they're canceling. And you have to wonder how many people out there in the audience thought the same thing. You know, you have to wonder like before you pass judgment, look where you are. Are you still happy? And if you're not happy, it's almost like you're sitting there saying, damn, why did I have the courage to do that? You know, again, it's tough. It's not an easy decision to make, let alone go through and didn't have to live with that. So, we have to wonder.

Nikki Corbett  (17:00)

Yeah. No, it's so true because, yeah, I mean, you're sitting there, and especially on the day of. And hers was, mean, bigger than many weddings. Like, hers was a destination wedding. So, they had all these people that had gone on airplanes and booked hotels and done all this stuff. So, I truly applaud her for having the courage to just be like, you know what? I'm going to listen to my gut here and say, we shouldn't do this.

Rick Barron (17:28)

Now, how many people have you spoken to over time with your Scarlet Edit on these types of conversations? 

Nikki Corbett  (17:38)

I would say probably 25 to 30 maybe. Yeah. Yeah, so I launched the Scarlet Ed in July. And I think I've done 45 maybe episodes since. I don't know. I'd have to look maybe, well, yeah, somewhere around there, around 40. So maybe like 25 to 30 of them have been.

Rick Barron (17:42)

Okay, so you're just getting started. Well, I mean, for those of us who are out there who've never done podcasting, I can attest that's a lot. That is a lot. So, when you are speaking to the female and the male populations you have thus far, I know this is going to sound like a silly question, but who do you think is most open with their feelings and their thoughts? And why do you think that is?

Nikki Corbett  (18:25)

That's a great question. I think women, I mean, but to be totally fair, I haven't had that many men. Like of all of my guests, I think I've had four men. So, one of them is a men's coach, or actually two of them. Well, one of them is a men's coach. One of them is a relationship coach. I believe he works with men and women, but mostly women. One was the chief strategy officer from Ashley Madison.

And one was a man who practices polyamory and he was just very keen to share his experience. So, all of them, you know, added a lot of value in their own ways.

Rick Barron (19:07)

Gosh. Um, you know, you talk about shame, desire, heartbreak and the double lives. Some people live. Um, why do you think it's, is it just midlife crisis that people tend to open up when they realize, you know, I'm kind of halfway through my life, whether I'm single or married. I mean, what, seems to be the porch light that goes on that people are more apt to be open to talk to you about what they've been through. But what is it?

Nikki Corbett  (19:39)

I like the way you phrase that because I certainly do think that midlife does play a role in your level of comfort to open up and speak with other people. I mean, there certainly is something to be said for experience, right? I mean, you know You kind of see those memes that go around the internet from time to time where it's like I don't want to see a 22 year old talking to me about fitness because when I was 22 I could you know drink every night and eat Taco Bell and I still had a six-pack.

Right? So, it's like experience, really, there is something to be said for it. I think with like through podcasting, we're in such a time where people want to relate to people. I mean, even with how we're buying, even in the consumer market, we're not buying from brands, we're buying from people. Because we're looking at somebody going, her hair is like mine. Or, like they have a similar body type to me, and they really like this outfit, or her hair looks amazing, and I want my hair to look amazing. 

So, I want to use that same type of shampoo. So, I think it's the same with podcasts. We want to listen to people that we relate to and people that make us feel like, OK. That was basically my story. That's another comment I've got regularly is, hey, that episode last week, that woman basically told my story.

Hmm and people that make us feel like, okay, like they had, that was basically my story. That's another comment I've got regularly. 

And so, then they're seeing somebody else's after and going, OK, well, she said she did this, or she said she focused on that. Like, maybe that's something I should try so I can feel a little better about where I am and what I've been through.

Rick Barron (21:19)

What's some of the feedback you get from your audience at the end of your discussions? Say, when you've completed the show and you're kind of off the air, what tangible thoughts do they share with you? If you want to talk about that, that, I don't know. As I said earlier, it probably gives them a sigh of relief that here is someone I could really just open up to and just express myself about how I feel, what I went through. And yet I feel I can breathe again. Do you ever get that?

Nikki Corbett  (21:51)

I have been told many times, like, my gosh, I haven't told anybody that whole story, like, ever. Or, wow, I haven't really shared that in a long time or ever. And it makes me feel good, obviously, as a host, because I like that people are comfortable sharing things with me. So, I'm glad that I can make them feel that level of comfort, know, especially through video.

So, I mean, that's pretty much kind of the main thing is like, we'll hang up and I'm usually like, ooh, that was really fun. Or that was really good. Like, what did you think? And they're usually similar, you know, have similar feelings.

Rick Barron (22:38)

Is that what you were hoping to hear or in the sense of doing your podcast? think that, you know, for people who are yet to come onto your show and those who have that they walk away. My God, I'm so glad I did that. Yes. I said a lot of things, but what a relief.

Nikki Corbett  (22:59)

Yeah, I often say that whenever I reach out to somebody and ask them to come on the show and talk to me, I am always like, no pressure, no rush, open invite. 

Because I truly believe that the people who come on my show come on when they're meant to. Even if there's that initial outreach, we have a conversation, and then I send them my booking link. And I'm like, book for whenever works. And I love putting that all in their hands, because I'm such a believer in energy and timing. 

And I think that it's best when they're in control of when it is that they're going to have the conversation because ultimately they're sharing a piece of themselves with me. So, I think that that plays a role more than I ever even realized, because I can't tell you how many times I hang up with somebody and I'm like, that was exactly what I needed to hear today. That was the conversation I needed to have today.

And that makes me feel like it ends up even better because I'll just be like sitting here in disbelief sometimes at something somebody's telling me and I'm like, my God, I was thinking about that earlier or I needed to hear that today or let's dig deeper into this topic because like this is so resonating with me.

Rick Barron (24:25)

As you've been going through these conversations, what have you been learning about yourself in terms of what you hear from other people? I mean, you kind of shared briefly what you went through in your early life. I mean, to open up your book, so to speak, to people who don't even know you, that's pretty brave, Nikki, I got to tell you.

Nikki Corbett  (24:54)

Thanks. Thanks.

Rick Barron (24:54)

It really is. made, what was the motivation for you to want to do that?

Nikki Corbett  (25:00)

Oh, gosh. I feel like, you know, it's so easy to judge people, right? It's so easy to look at somebody what somebody else has done and be like, oh, I would never would have done that. Or I can't believe she did that. I can't believe he did that. Like, where are your values? Where are your morals? Like, who are you? Like, like, why would I want to even be associated with you? I mean, we are we as human beings, we judge so easily, right? And it's like, you know, the glass house.

The Glasshouse theory, because everybody else is perfect except me. And I look at everything. We get one life. There's a song lyric from a song. That's one of my favorite songs. And what it says is, we only get this one trip. Lose the fear, lose the grip, throw the lines from the ship, and take it all. 

And that has been truly my mantra since I first heard that song in 2016 when it came out. So I am a, by nature, one of the most positive, optimistic people you will meet. I've just recently come to realize that that's the level of joy that I operate out in the world with; it surprises people. 

Like I had a woman, respond to a note the other day when she had asked me, how's your year going? And I said, my year's going amazing. And she's like, wow, that's such a strong word. I'm like, well, OK, it is. I love life. I choose happiness every day. I find joy in the little things. And I'm still in awe of so much of the beauty of this world and this life. So when I reflected on my relationship journey, to a note the other day when she had asked me how's your year going, and I said my year's going amazing, and she's like wow that's so a strong.

Nikki Corbett  (26:54)

I've been divorced. I was the other woman for five years in a relationship with a married man. I'm single at 48 years old, but I am still the happiest. I feel like I deserve the world. And I'm not settling for anything less than everything that I want. So by putting myself out there like that and sharing that with the world, it's kind of like, OK, well, I started this podcast. I kicked it off with my own story.

Nikki Corbett  (27:21)

So, I immediately established trust with my audience and with anybody that I do outreach to because they're like, well, if she's going to just dive right in and tell us all that, I can come and talk to her about my life. And then I feel like I'm a good example because I want everybody to feel the way that I do. I want everybody to think that they deserve everything in the world. And so by living that way and using myself as an example that like, you're not just one decision that you made. You can move on and make changes, but you can still avoid regrets. So that's kind of my why.

Rick Barron (27:57)

No, that's great. I mean, that's all well put too. I think for people who are listening and hearing what you're just saying right now, I think would give them pause to think, you know what, after this, after I listened to this podcast, I'm going to contact Nikki because I got a story I got to tell because I think people are looking for that Nikki. Think people are just, you know, they hold it inside.

Nikki Corbett  (28:25)

Great.

Rick Barron (28:34)

And I knew of a person who was that way. And it wasn't until they went to a very depressing moment in their life that they started going to a psychiatrist and then they started going to a group. And it finally reached the point where, like you, I'm going to be happy. I made some mistakes. We're all human for Pete's sakes. You know, I'll give you an example. I went to jury duty one time.

Nikki Corbett  (28:58)

Totally.

Rick Barron (29:03)

And I remember I got picked and just looking at the person who was being accused, their exterior was telling you, well, they're guilty as sin. You know, this, their features just didn't telegraph very well. Long story short, the evidence came about where this person was not guilty. 

Nikki Corbett  (29:15)

Mm-hmm.

Rick Barron (29:33)

There was this flat out simple and you know, it, taught me a lesson that you can't judge people just by their exterior, but also you can't judge a person by, I don't know what this person went through in their life up to this point. Something could have just derailed them that they had to go in this direction rather than going in that direction. So I think before, as you say, past judgment, you need to take a step back and evaluate, well, who am I? What have I done?

Nikki Corbett  (30:02)

100%, yeah.

Rick Barron (30:03)

And if I can't say that, then you have to give it a rest and then just think things out because life, you know, sometimes it's not fair for many people and as try as they aren't sometimes instead of getting a hand, I don't mean to sound crude, they get a finger. But some people are going to just say, no, like you, I'm going this way and you're not going to stop me.

Nikki Corbett  (30:24)

Mm-hmm.

Rick Barron (30:32)

So, I think, I mean, I think your show really calls a lot because as I've been listening to them, it's, the conversations are very refreshing, very open, very honest. And I think in today's world, people want that. They want to hear that. Is there a topic or a conversation that you haven't had yet that you hope to have down the road in these?

Nikki Corbett (31:04)

You know, actually, yes, there is. I have not yet had a guest on who a woman who was married and cheated on her husband. But I have one that I'm speaking to tomorrow and we'll be getting her scheduled. And so, I'm very interested in that conversation. She's been very open on social media about it. And I just think my audience will be very, very curious about that. Because I think a lot of times still, even though it's not only men, I think that people kind of correlate men with cheating. Like the whole, like, once a cheater, always a cheater, which is a saying I absolutely hate and disagree with. But I think that it'll be a very intriguing conversation for my listeners to hear this woman's story.

Rick Barron (32:00)

So, kind of getting off the topics, someone, you're quite the traveler. So, you've been to what, 32 countries? Is that correct? Wow. When did all that start?

Nikki Corbett  (32:04)

Yeah! I have, yes.

So, I actually really started traveling kind of a combination. It was with my ex-husband, but then also the job that I had at the time. It was kind of like almost at the same time, international travel started up for me at work. And I had recently been married and my ex-husband wanted to go to Southeast Asia for our honeymoon. So, we did that. We went to four countries when we were together and then through work I started traveling a bit more as well. And then, since 2017, I've traveled extensively on my own.

Rick Barron (32:50)

What places have you not been to that you want to go to?

Nikki Corbett (32:53)

Ooh, well, see, here's the thing. I want to go everywhere. And I mean, there's certainly some places higher on the list. I guess I really want to go to Morocco. I really want to go to, where is the one? I can see it. It's right off the coast. Zanzibar. It's right off the coast of Tanzania. Or Tanzania. I'm not sure how. I'm probably saying that wrong. Forgive me.

Rick Barron (32:56)

Who doesn't?

Nikki Corbett  (33:23)

I've never been to South Korea. I'd really like to go there. I really want to go to Russia because I'm so intrigued by their architecture and that vodka and caviar are like as common as chips and salsa. Yeah, I travel for food. So anytime I go somewhere and somebody's like, that's not a common tourist destination. Why did you go there? And I'm like, I wanted to eat their food. It's really, it's that simple.

And I also haven't really explored much of South America. And so there's a lot to do, a lot to do down there. So yeah.

Rick Barron (34:02)

And the conversations that you've had and getting back to your podcast, again, I haven't listened to all of them, but did you ever have one where the conversation was going quite well? And then the person who was talking to you, kind of just lost it. Like, why? I can't believe I'm saying all this. And then, they started to cry or what? Mean, did it get very difficult, I guess, to continue with the conversation, so to speak.

Nikki Corbett (34:30)

I've not yet experienced that. It's been really cool. The conversations I've had thus far with women are either a combination of their business expertise and how they've applied their experience to what it is that they do, whether they're a coach, a psychotherapist, people that are advocates and help people that are going through divorce, or it's just been really deep, interesting, and I use that word way too often, but really just deep conversations. 

And I love those when it's less of an interview and more of a, huh, well, what do you think about that? So, I get excited when the conversation ends up that way. And often they do simply just by how it unfolds. It's not a plan.

There are some people who do, I always do a pre-call. I know you and I have talked about that. I always do a pre-call. But I don't do very much. I don't have a list of questions I'm working off of. I really just kind of let the energy and the vibe of who I've got on drive the conversation. And it usually goes somewhere pretty beautiful. Yeah.

Rick Barron (35:51)

That's great. I mean, that's, that's how it should be. I mean, if, if there was a driving message that you would want people to understand about your show when they walk away from it, even after they listen to some of your podcasts, what would that driving message be for them?

Nikki Corbett  (36:08)

I want them to feel like they are not defined by their past choices and that if there's something that they want for themselves, whether it's just a life or it's in love, that they are absolutely deserving of it and they should just go with reckless abandon in order to get that. you know, F what anyone else says or what anyone thinks because they're not living your life. They're not paying your bills. They're not sleeping in your bed. So do what makes sense for you.

Rick Barron (36:40)

Yeah. I think that's what makes your podcast so inviting is a lot of people just want just straight honesty without judgment. And have you ever found it any somewhat difficult sometimes when you're listening to someone and you have a sense of you want to pass judgment or do you just kind of, how do you, how do you avoid that?

Nikki Corbett  (37:03)

Ooh, that's a great question. I'm trying to quickly reflect back on people that I've had conversations with. No, don't believe that I have judged a guest. The only time I've had thoughts where I'm like, is when the conversation ends up going a direction that we never discussed. And so what I mean by that is,

I've had a pre-call and it was like, yeah, we're gonna talk about all these things. And then I would ask questions and it was like one and two word answers. I'm like, you were the one that told me it was okay to talk about this. So why are you not talking? 

Or if something turns into just kind of be like a advertisement for their business and we had thought that we were going to have a conversation about like their expertise and their experience, that is, you know, unenjoyable but it's very been few and far between. I've only had three guests ever that I didn't put out the episode.

Rick Barron (38:03)

Can you share any tidbits about people who felt they had to have another person to be with? What was that driving factor? Was it because they just weren't, their spouse was just not paying attention to them, they were being mean to them? What was the driving theme that you've heard thus far that causes one to think in that manner?

Nikki Corbett  (38:31)

You know, I think that a lot of times it comes down to just not feeling seen.

And I personally believe that communication is like the floor. It's the foundation. And if you lose the ability to communicate with who you're with, you're getting on fragile ground. So, and don't get me wrong, communication can be really, really hard. I mean, I think anybody, think you know that, I know that, everybody listening knows that. It can be really tough to have the conversations.

But I think a lot of times it boils down to that. then also fear, fear goes hand in hand. So many people who end up having affairs, they're afraid to blow up their life. They're afraid for what it'll do to their kids. They're afraid financially. I mean, there's so many different.

And that's one of the things that I also always say is that infidelity is not the problem. It's a symptom of the problem. So, I think that there's a lot of things, but I think lack of communication, fear, and not feeling seen are real big ones.

Rick Barron (39:54)

That's great. I'll open up to you. You know, I was married once and that marriage lasted about five years. just kind of, we grew apart, but then it grew apart to the point where after I found they were having an affair behind my back. So, we got divorced and for about five years, I just dated, wasn't even thinking about wanting to get married. 

And I thought, if I can live with myself for the rest of my life, yeah, I can do it. There may be some lonely moments, but I can do it. And then I met my current wife, and we've been married for 32 years now. And to your point, communication is absolutely key. 

And I know that when we were first getting to know one another, because she lived in Canada. I lived here in the United States. So, we've got this huge red box up in our attic of all the cards we wrote to one another. And you know, Nikki, I think what made our relationship as strong as it is today, and yeah, sure, we have our little mishaps, is that it wasn't convenient. So, we didn't have social media back then. So you had to write your thoughts down in the card and express yourself. 

Nikki Corbett (41:04)

I love that.

Nikki Corbett  (41:19)

Yeah.

Rick Barron (41:22)

And I think to that end, that's, I think, what helped build our foundation before I asked her to marry me. And, you know, I told her, hey, I'm going to throw my heart over the rainbow and I hope you'll catch it when I tell you these words that I want to marry you. And it worked. But throughout those 32 years though, Nikki, periodically, I still stop my wife and say, are we still okay?

Nikki Corbett  (41:32)

Mm-hmm.

Rick Barron (41:52)

Are we doing well? You know, I can't be perfect, but are we okay? And I say that to her often because I don't want to take anything for granted. And I think if you can't, I remember my father once told me, if you guys don't argue, you don't love one another. I thought, well, what the hell is that supposed to mean? And then one day the Porch light went on and realized he's right. You know, you have to talk, you have to communicate and work things out. So, I think to that end, that's been a very helpful

Nikki Corbett  (41:57)

Mm-hmm.

Nikki Corbett  (43:16)

You know, think one of the most amazing stories does not come from a guest. But I play around on all these different social media sites. And I like threads and Instagram, probably the most outside of LinkedIn. And I commented on some post one day. And another woman saw my comment. And she commented on my comment. She's like, I totally agree with you.

Well, she went and checked out my page, and she went and checked out my podcast, all unbeknownst to me, obviously. Well, she sent me a message, and she was like, hey, I just want you to know that I feel like God sent you to me right now, because I've been in relationship for seven years with a man who is married. I know I need to end it.

It's been eating at me because I know that it's not going anywhere. He's never going to leave. And I'm just at a point now where I'm wasting my time. So I responded back to her and I said, my gosh, thank you for the note. I'm sending you a hug. I know how hard it can be. Let me know if there's anything that I can do for you. She responded back just with some nice words. And I didn't see it until the following morning. So I responded back and I said, my gosh, I agree. Or I understand where you're at, blah, blah.

She wrote me back and she said, I ended things with him last night. Again, I truly believe that God sent you to me at this time to give me the courage to finally walk away. And I was just like, my god, that's amazing.

Rick Barron (44:51)

Wow. Well, again, I think there are people out there who are looking for someone, anyone that would listen and not pass judgment because yeah, that had to be, wow, that must've knocked you over.

Nikki Corbett  (45:08)

Yeah, it did. was just like, was like speechless. I was like, wow, that's powerful. And then we started following each other on Instagram. I mean, she's young, she's beautiful, she has everything going for us. She's doing great business-wise. And I'm like, this is going to be your year. I can feel it. I know, like, 2026 is all about you. So yeah.

Rick Barron (45:29)

And that's great. A sidebar, real quick. I'm sorry. I did a podcast, my very first one, and I dedicated it to my wife. And the essence of the story was about when she asked me to give her a Christmas gift. The first year we got married, said, well, what would you like? I want you to promise me you'll go to the doctor every year to do an annual checkup.

So I went to the dentist, but I wouldn't go to the doctor. So, I thought, okay, I'll do it. Long story short, about seven, eight years into seeing my doctor, he noticed there was a mark on my wrist and he said, how long have you had the mark? I said, I don't know, a couple of years. He said, let's get it checked out. Went to a specialist and the doctor said, okay, I'll call you back tonight and tell you what we found. And it was a melanoma. So had to see a couple of doctors. One doctor told me about the surgery and I thought, wait a minute, what do mean?

Nikki Corbett  (46:16)

My gosh.

Rick Barron (46:23)

I needed surgery so it has to be removed. So, I spoke to the doctor who was going to perform the surgery and he gave me all the options. You know, I could lose feelings in my fingers, my whole hand, my whole arm and then when he dropped a bomb on me he said you potentially, you know, I'm not saying it's going to happen but you could lose your whole arm and I just I broke down and cried and I thought but you know I had to go back for another surgery.

Nikki Corbett  (46:36)

Wow.

Rick Barron (46:53)

It all worked out, I'm doing fine. But then I thought, if I had not promised my wife and myself, who knows what might have happened. I did that podcast in 2022. It's now 2026. I'm still getting hits on it. And I get emails from wives who now tell me, I listened to that podcast. I had my husband listen to it. Now they're going to the doctor. So.

Nikki Corbett  (47:20)

Wow, that's so cool.

Rick Barron (47:23)

Yeah, so I felt like, I'm glad I started the podcast, but I had no idea that was ever going to happen.

Nikki Corbett  (47:27)

Exactly. Right? That's the crazy thing is because you don't know and that's like podcasting is so bizarre because anybody, anytime, anywhere can listen to one of your episodes.

Rick Barron (47:38)

Mm hmm. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. But again, I think that for what you have started and what you're doing, I love the title of the Scarlett Edit. That is so cool that I'm going to, you know, really try to promote as much as I can on my website, your podcast, because I'm being very sincere. Your podcast offers an outlet to.

Nikki Corbett (47:50)

Thank you.

Rick Barron (48:09)

I think people who want to talk to a friend is how I would put it and know they can walk and they can walk away saying you know that conversation I had with Nikki made me feel unashamed made me feel I have nothing to be afraid of anymore and by God I'm gonna start celebrating life just like she is so I mean that's how I would call it out so there you go

Nikki Corbett  (48:40)

Thanks, that's a beautiful, beautiful way to put it. I love it, thank you.

Rick Barron (48:43)

You're very welcome. So, listen, I always like to end the show with what I call speed-round questions. And so, I'm going to give you the first one here. I can't wait to hear this. 

What was the best live concert you ever attended and why?

Nikki Corbett  (49:01)

God, I've been to so many concerts. I will say Reba McIntyre is my favorite artist of all time. And in 2006, maybe seven, something like that, I went to see her at a venue that is no longer open. It's in Northern California in Lake County. It was called Canock Die Harbor.

And I got lucky enough to have second row seats, and she made eye contact with me. And to this day, I will just never forget it. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. Yeah.

Rick Barron (49:34)

That's so cool! Okay, what do you wish you had more time to do?

Nikki Corbett  (49:42)

Travel.

Rick Barron (49:43)

Why am I not surprised?

Nikki Corbett  (49:45)

I mean, yeah.

Rick Barron (49:47)

Well, hope you get to do that. I really do.

Nikki Corbett  (49:49)

Yeah, I will. I certainly, I mean, if anybody listens to this who's friends with me, they're going to be like, girl, be quiet. All you do is travel. But I mean, yeah.

Rick Barron (49:56)

That's so cool. What was your first paying job?

Nikki Corbett  (50:03)

Well, my parents taught us the value of money very young. So, I was always doing things around the house. But aside from babysitting, my first paying job was at my first real big girl job, where I had to get a work permit. And I was super excited. I worked at a pizza place in the town I grew up in. Yeah.

Rick Barron (50:23)

Did you prepare the pizza or?

Nikki Corbett  (50:26)

Well, I did, but they had a process. So, when you got hired, you started out folding boxes. And once you proved that you were able to fold boxes accurately, then they would let you answer the phones. And once you proved that you were able to enter in pizza orders without screwing it up, you got promoted to saucing and cheesing. And then once you could do sauce and cheese quickly and efficiently, then you could go to toppings, eventually move to the grill and then eventually moved to actually making ranch dressing and doing all the other fun things at the salad bar. So, I did all of those things. Yeah, I did all of those things. Don't worry about it.

Rick Barron (50:58)

God, it sounds like boot camp.

Okay, if your best friend wrote a book about you, what do you think the title would be and why?

Nikki Corbett  (51:13)

I would, it would probably be called something along the lines of she's so particular or she did it her way. Because that's kind of just how it's been. But I laugh when I say particular because years ago, this must have been when we turned 40. So it must have been like about eight years ago. I was at a, in a hotel room in San Francisco with my three of my best friends from college. And we were getting ready.

And my girlfriend and were talking about something, and she was like, my god, she's like, you know that you're so particular. You're not picky, but you like things a certain way. And I was like, what do you mean? And as I'm saying that, she has a remote in her hand because she's putting the blinds down in the room. And I was like, OK, right there. And she's like, and my point is proven.

Rick Barron (52:03)

I rest my case. That's funny. All right, last question. 

What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Nikki Corbett  (52:15)

That’s a good one. I mean, I think the first thing that jumped into my mind is like, I wish I had a beautiful singing voice. I just think it would be so fun.

Rick Barron (52:29)

What kind of music would you like to sing?

Nikki Corbett  (52:32)

Probably like I always like really enjoy ballads, you know, so probably just pop or country. But you know somebody like Kelly Clarkson or Christina Aguilera who can just really let it rip and you're just like blown away like Whitney Houston, right? I mean everyone always talks every year about who sings the national anthem at the Super Bowl and like every everyone's always like can we just get a hologram of Whitney for like every year like she was the best.

Rick Barron (52:54)

Yes. I still listen to that from time to time and I still get chills. mean, she just belted it out that night and it so, it was just great. God.

Nikki Corbett  (53:04)

So, and then, you know, there's another song that I listen to all the time, usually around Christmas, even though it's not a Christmas song. But I can't remember what year it was live on an award show. But Carrie Underwood sang How Great Thou Art, accompanied by Vince Gill on the fiddle. She just, it's unbelievable that woman's voice and the last few choruses as she just hits these notes more and higher and higher. Even by the end, I think she's shocked at what she accomplished. It's the most beautiful rendition of that song.

Rick Barron (53:41)

You know, sometimes these artists will have a lot of hits, but sometimes they'll have a song that was just no one else could have done that song like them. It just came out. So, Nikki, I, well, this was an enjoyable conversation. I love your openness. Um, very sincere. And again, to those who are listening to this podcast, I'm going to make sure I have Nikki's link to her podcast.

Also go to her website, I'll provide that as well. But I want to encourage you to go to her podcast and listen to the stories she's had thus far and she has more to come. And like I said, she's had about 30 or 40 alone. And for those of us who were in podcasting, that's quite a bit of work to pull together. 

Not enough just to do the editing, but it's a craft to be able to talk to someone about the topics that she covers and to give people a sense of being in a very comfortable position to be so open. And the podcast that I've heard thus far reveals that. 

So, I think when you talk with Nikki or when you listen to Nikki, you're hearing someone that's coming from the heart. So, keep that in mind. So, Nikki, I want to thank you so much for taking time to speak with me and to my audience. I also thank you for taking the time to listen to us, more so to listen to Nikki and we'll see you soon. So take care.

Nikki Corbett  (55:15)

Thank you so much for having me, Rick.

Rick Barron (55:16)

You're welcome.